Finding Balance
Lately, I've had a lot of people asking me questions about free-time, such as, "how do you have time to get your nails done if you have a baby?" Totally valid. Taking care of Logan certainly does occupy the majority of each day, especially when he and I are alone together. On those days, the only "me time" that I get is during his nap time, and I try to maximize it by checking things off my ever-growing to-do list. On the weekends, however, my husband is around. I feel very lucky in that he and I acknowledge that we are a team, and we look out for each other to make sure we BOTH get some time to do things we want to do. Because the truth is that with a baby, you do have to work to find time to be with yourself and do the things you enjoy. And working with my husband to make sure we both still get to do things we enjoy helps keep our relationship healthy. In my head, I intended to write this post as a response to people asking how I've been fitting it all in.
At this point, I would say the most important thing that my husband and I do for each other is respect each other's time. We make sure that we each get a couple hours on the weekend to spend however we want. For him, that usually means going to the gym, working on household projects, or the dreaded having-to-work-on-a-Saturday-morning. For myself, it means going to the gym, pampering myself, seeing a friend, etc. And then afterwards, we usually have the rest of the afternoon to spend as a family! We also alternate who gets to go to the gym in the evenings on weekdays.
I think the hardest part of creating balance and finding "me time" is trying not to feel guilty. My husband and I both struggle with that. He would rather wait to leave the house until Logan goes down for a nap because he feels it will be less difficult for me if Logan is asleep for the bulk of the time he's away. Similarly, I start to get anxiety if I'm out and about beyond the 2 hour mark because I feel like I need to be home to help my teammate. This actually just happened last weekend where I got stuck in 40 extra minutes of LA traffic (what else is new) and I panicked because I thought he would be mad that I was gone for so long. But he wasn't! And we know these feelings of guilt are something we need to work on because we are BOTH Logan's parents and sometimes one of us is going to be away. We've had conversations about this many times, and it is something we're trying to be better about.
On that note, I think the key to finding and maintaining balance in the midst of raising a baby is communication. In addition to communicating with my husband, I've found that communicating with myself has been incredibly helpful. I've been able to recognize when to ask for help from my husband, my parents, or other people in my support system. I've been able to accept the moments where I'm really stressed out so that I can take a step back and take a deep breath - or days when I'm more tired than usual (ha) and need to force myself to nap while Logan naps instead of poring through Instagram and emails. Lastly, open communication has allowed my husband and I to figure out what works for us as individuals, as a couple and as a family.
In order to prevent myself from rambling more, I am going to end with the short-version answer to the question people have been asking me. How do I have time to get my nails done when I have a baby? The short answer is: I have an awesome husband who loves being a dad and recognizes that I need a few hours here and there to take care of myself.
How are you finding balance in your daily life, or how can you work to incorporate it?
